I'm tired...

of all the craziness that's been part of our Archdiocese for these past months. I'm sad, too, because things have been exposed that are deeply embarassing and any person who had some idealized vision about us is probably stunned right now, or running to the nearest Orthodox parish NOT in the Antiochian Archdiocese.

This is a rough game, this archdiocesan politics with its statements, its maneuvering, its ambiguous use of words and decidedly un-Christian set of rules (not the official ones, they're for the newbies, but rather the realpolitik stuff used by the people in the know). How sad it would be if we had to resort to the courts and have them tell us how to govern ourselves. What should I tell the people who listen to me every Sunday? How can I put a positive spin on it? I could tell them shut up and obey but these are not children and even children ask questions that pierce through adult pretensions.

So what to do?

I'm not going to be a "company man" if being such requires me to smile and pretend. This is a rough time, this is awful, this is wrong, and there are no smiles that can shelter us from that storm. I, will, though, be Orthodox in all of this. I have no intention of leaving the Faith and the truth is that all of this has made me dig deeper into its core values. An Archdiocese is an important thing but it is temporary as well. The world is littered with defunct dioceses.The Faith endures, its truth, its call, its beauty, its power, and its hope. Ironically, the solution, the way out may be for all of us to actually become more Orthodox, more faithful, more holy, and more rooted in our Tradition. Its to that shelter I must go and as I find it invite others to follow because after all I may be tired, I may be sad, but I remain.