This week's sermon in advance...

Sunday of the Prodigal Son
February 4, 2007
Homily

What does it mean to forgive?

I still struggle with that at times, and I suspect that most of us do as well. We struggle with what the word means, what it calls us to do, and how it changes our lives.

And many of us have vey little knowledge of what forgiveness entails especially when the wounds are deep and the harm catastrophic. Well meaning people talk about “just letting it go” or “moving on” but sometimes its not as simple as that. When we were kids and got into a fight the teacher would make us stop and shake hands but in this broken world people sometimes do great damage and sometimes not by accident yet still we are called to forgive. Many will spend their whole lives learning to forgive.

In our Gospel today we have an example of forgiveness, of a father grieviously wronged by a shallow and selfish son. When this son comes on desperate times he realizes the error of his ways and seeks to return home. A stumbling apology comes out of his mouth, the brokenness pouring from him. Even as he speaks his father embraces him, removes the ragged clothes, and celebrates a feast of joy at his return.

What isn’t in the story is how the father came to the place where he endured the hurt, worked through the insult and the pain, and came to be at a place in his life when the return of the very one who had caused such harm could bring joy.

But the Scriptures give us a clue about how this happens.

We know that Jesus told His disciples they should pray to be forgiven as they forgive those who trespassed against the. Sometimes we pray that prayer so casually that we can say it and read a book at the same time, but from it we understand that our own forgiveness is tied to the forgiveness we give others. A sobering thought.

We know that when someone wrongs us they incur a debt to us and that forgiveness is our releasing of that obligation. The sins we all do are not only against God but also each other and when we have wronged we have a moral obligation to make it right and when those who have wronged us seek forgiveness we have a moral obligation to release them.

The Bible teaches us that forgiveness doesn’t mean the wrong that was done never happened or that consequences won’t remain. The prophet and king David was truly forgiven of his rape of Bathsheba and the murder of her husband but the repercussions of it haunted his whole life.

We see numerous examples in the Scripture of the bitterness and pain that was brought into the life of those who held grudges, who clung to the wrongs done to them, and acted in vengeance.

The Scriptures also teach us that forgiveness sometimes takes time. St. Peter asked Jesus “How many times should I forgive a brother who sins against me? And Jesus answer of seventy times seven meant more than just 490 but rather implied that forgiveness may need to be repeated until it takes hold, until the fulness of it has come to pass.

Above all the Scriptures and the Tradition of our Church teach us that forgiveness is among the most prized of virtues. It marks a Christian life, and when practiced brings healing to both the one wronged and the one who offended.

So how are we to become people of forgiveness, people who model God’s own loving forgiveness and in turn receive forgiveness for themselves?

First we must determine in our will that forgiveness will be a part of our life, a value we hold, an act we practice, and a skill we develop. In the same way we grow in all the graces of the Christian life through study, prayer, and practice we should grow in forgiveness as we mature in Christ.

Along with this we must also develop the grace to be a person not easily offended. Sometimes we are full of pride or self justification, quick to take offense, hyper-sensitive, unwilling to listen, and too ready to pick at each other for no good reason. How quickly we look for words that we can single out, or actions for which we can demand redress. How often we desire to score points against another to claim some kind of victory. How many years go by while we still hold grudges often for no good reason at all. A gentle spirit, slow to take offense and slower still to take vengeance is a spirit where forgiveness exists even before the wrongs that may draw on its graces.

But sometimes the wrongs are profound and the wounds authentic and deep and still we must forgive. In these times we come to see that forgiveness is more than an event but rather its a process, an attitude of the heart, a commitment of the will, and a state of the soul. We may need to revisit a deep wrong against us many times, weep over it many times, experiences its pain again and again as we slowly give it to God and purge it from our lives.

We come to terms over time with the reality that our life has changed and that we’ve been damaged. We take care to protect ourselves. Yet there is also a part of us that sees a greater reality that begins to transform what has happened to us. The outworking of God’s grace, even if it takes a lifetime, produces in us both the grace of our own recovery and the hope of the transformation and salvation even of the one who has done us harm. As long as this lives inside of us we are granting forgiveness in a way similar to God and ensure our own forgiveness as well.

Perhaps in this coming Lent the task that will be laid before you will be the challenge of forgiveness. For too long you’ve held on to wrongs done to you or were too quick to imply wrong in others. Somewhere inside you is a hard bitter place full of grudges, offenses, pains, and slights real and imagined. It sits in your soul like a jagged rock. For others it may be a deep and hidden pain, a wrong done that has cast a shadow over all of your life and from which you need to be free. Each of us has our own place of unforgiveness, our place of struggle with hurts inflicted and pains endured.

It makes no difference. You can come to God and lay every dark corner of your life before Him and ask Him for the grace to heal your wounds, and the grace to forgive those who have wounded you. If that is yet still too hard you can just say “God here I am all messed up. Please help me.”

After all what have you got to lose?