A little bit about electric razors...

Not all the women who read this may understand, but most of the guys will. A man often has a personal kind of relationship with his electric razor. I'll explain.

When a guy first starts shaving he usually borrows his dad's electric razor or buys one for his immediate needs at the local discount store. There's usually not much to shave so any razor will do. But time changes all of that.

As the facial hair comes in thicker and shaving stops being a novelty and starts becoming a necessity a sojourn also starts. Not all facial hair is the same and its consistency and growth patterns can sometimes be as unique as a fingerprint. For example the hair on my face is fairly straight but as you proceed down the neck there are several areas where it slightly swirls. Because of this not just any razor will do, you must find the one that matches your face and so the journey begins.

Sometimes a guy is lucky and the first razor he gets is the perfect one. Usually it may take an attempt or two to find the real deal, the razor whose design and cutting features do the best job with the greatest amount of comfort. Now I may be letting some of you in on the secret world of guys as it were but most manufacturers of electric razors actually tell you it may be a while after you make your purchase before your skin and the razor match. They have to get used to each other. Really, I'm not kidding. If they don't you can be literally rubbed raw.

That's why men, when they've found that perfect shaver, may keep it for many years, often longer than a car or even a house. Well meaning wives often say "Why don't you get rid of that old thing?" without realizing it took some hard searching (they don't have demo models for shavers) and more than a few unpleasant experiences to finally find the right razor and most guys would rather not have to do that over again. In this world where everything seems disposable there are still small shops hidden here and there where men can take their decades old friend of a razor for cleaning and repair. An older man is usually sitting behind a cubby hole desk in a room smeeling of three-in-one oil with shavers and parts about the place and a silence that pervades everything, a silence of work, of expectation, and of a unique dread that comes when the man behind the desk holds your razor with the grim look of a doctor diagnosing terminal illness. There are men out there with fewer shavers than wives.

Now my facial "soul mate" if you will is a Braun 5414 that I purchased almost ten years ago. It wasn't the most expensive shaver out there but the cutter is straight, the head swivels, and it cleanly mows through those pesky swirls on my neck with the elegance of a well handled rapier. And then a year or so it disappeared, lost somehow in my travels. I searched the house and every suitcase I owned but to no avail.

For a while I muddled on with plain old straight razors. They can shave smooth but a slight slip of the hand and you can turn a piece of face into a fillet. Then, for some reason still unknown to me, I chose a Norelco with the three pivoting heads etc., etc.. Perhaps I thought I needed the change, but the truth is that I've been paying the price ever since. Well beyond the usual two week "break in" period the Norelco has continued to be the "little engine that couldn't" and every morning leaves red marks on my neck. It has nothing to do with the Norelco, it's just not a good match for my face and yet even when I finally found my Braun I consigned it to a drawer and still used the Norelco. We guys can be hard to figure out sometimes.

But enough is enough and today I found the old Braun, cleaned it up, and installed a new cutter head and screen. Now in the old days you could get easily get parts for a very old shaver but things have changed.
There is evil in the world and the capitalist swine who own the shaver companies have sacrificed loyalty for crass profit by implementing one simple policy. If they stop making replacement cutters and shaving heads, or make them the search for them daunting enough, eventually even the most die hard man will have to part with his old friend and buy a new one. Never mind that the mechanics of the razor may be just fine, just stop making parts for models over ten years old and eventually the sheer pain of using a dull razor will compel a purchase. If there was ever evidence for the devil...

Thankfully, my local store still had the parts, which together could easily be stored in a 2 inch square box, for about $25 US and even now my old friend is getting some new life through the charger while awaiting tomorrow morning and that all important first shave with a fresh cutter and screen. I wonder what my neck will look like without the red marks? I hope my old friend won't hold a grudge for being left in a drawer for about six months.

Maybe I'll just say the Norelco was a fling and it really didn't mean that much to me. After all, we were made for each other.