When I was a Baptist Pastor in Lindsborg, Kansas I first encountered the phrase "Rode hard and put away wet..." It was a cowboy colloquialism from the vestiges of the days when Kansas was the frontier. "How are you doing?" "I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet." Tired. Overworked. No chance to clean up or rest. A horse pushed hard and just stuffed back into the barn with no care.
I feel like I've been rode hard and put away wet.
But I knew it was coming. I knew one day the whole idea of holding down a full time job and trying to help St. Elias get up and going in a better way was going to require some kind of payment and the bill is now due. I can see it in my eyes, in the utter inability to get much done, in the way I stare at the TV, and that particular paralysis of the overwhelmed.
In a younger and fitter time I used to run five miles 3 times a week, sixty laps around the track at the health club. I would count the laps by reverse order in my head and repeat the number over and over like a mantra as I breathed in and out with my steps. Lap sixty to lap one. There were barriers at certain points along the way. Lap 48 in the countdown marked a mile as the stiffness worked its way out of my system. In the 20's parts of me would start thinking about how nice it would be to stop just for a little bit. After all I could start up again. Keep counting. Keep running. By the last ten laps my body would be screaming but I kept on running, kept on counting, and when the screaming got too loud I'd start to sprint the last few laps and then walk another half mile or so to cool down.
There's no other way right now for St. Elias unless we find oil on the property or someone wins the lottery. One generation must endure for something better. One Priest must choose to sometimes be rode hard and put away wet so that the next one won't. No complaints, its just the way it is, and sparks of life are starting to be struck. No time to give up now.
Keep counting. Keep running. Almost there.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
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